Showing posts with label east-side. Show all posts
Showing posts with label east-side. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Flagged On Craigslist

For this piece of innocence:


Available 1/6/12: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2fywgWF-XQ
I don't know what to say about this one. I think it was originally a 1bd but when they filled in the pool back in '98 they added the sauna and clubhouse onto this apartment. The result is a labyrinth of Bowie-esque proportions. Well, maybe not THAT cool, but I could definitely Jennifer Connelly running around in there. Aw hell, I could see her just about anywhere to be honest with you. As long as she doesn't ever play Audrey Hepburn in some sort of biopic. That (and her craggy hip bones that you can cut bread on) is what ruined Jennifer Love Hewitt for me. She is dead to me now. You hear that Jennifer Love Hewitt?!? DEAD!

Oh crap. Now I have to go watch Labyrinth again or I'm going to be saying, "You remind me of the babe" all day. Can you imagine if you were viewing an apartment and the landlord-dude said that to you? I'd cross that place off my list in a heartbeat, unless the landlord actually WAS Jareth the Goblin King.
Um...yeah. Tangent.
Water, sewer, garbage included. Off-street parking, on-site laundry and management. Small dog friendly. Indoor cat friendly.
$300-$700 deposit.
No pet rent!
$150 cat deposit.
$300 dog deposit.
No owl deposit!
$40 app fee.

As suggested, I posted on the craigslist forums to ask why that would get flagged. I got all kinds of answers. Some were obviously wrong: "No posting youtube links on craigslist," and "It's against the rules to post an ad for an apartment that isn't available immediately." Others were kind of sad to me, and they were all along the lines of, "You didn't say anything about the apartment!" Most had some misspellings. I was actually confused why it was removed, as I read through the entire Terms Of Use on Craigslist and found nothing wrong with it. Finally I got an answer: "Stop trying to be funny. We'll flag whatever we want."

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Virginia Lee Apartments

I'm so excited about this listing!

VIDEO TOUR of a similar studio in the same building: (the one we currently have for rent is approximately 50 square feet bigger than the studio show in the video)

This is a one of a kind studio in the heart of Ladd's Addition. It is in a small 12-unit building just minutes away from Hawthorne, Division, Belmont, Downtown and many other cool areas! We have a wonderful community of people here in our building, many of them long-term residents.This suite has a spacious living room. This studio also has a few walk closets and storage areas making it a very live-able space. Stunning hardwood floors throughout the unit, tile floor in bathroom, and many other nice amenities. This studio, as seen in the video, gets beautiful day light flowing in through the living room, kitchen and bathroom windows. This studio is nestled away from the main street (in the back corner of the building) so it remains very quiet. We have a 10 to 10 rule here, no loud noise before 10 am and after 10 pm.

I don't know where to start! Okay. Calm down. Patience.
I love the fact that--for no discernible reason--the video of the apartment has a fucking Gold Panda song in it. And it's a beautiful video. I say that only because it looks exactly like the videos for my apartments, but instead of my annoying, "Afternoon everybody, nice seeing you again," you get British electronica. Also! If you pause the video at :19 seconds, then I think I can see one of my ex-girlfriends. And it's kind of a pretty place, too: Hardwood floors, what looks like the original hex-tile in the bathroom, a toilet from the late 1940s. My only complaint is that they took out the steam radiators and replaced it with an ugly gas wall unit.
I've always liked the looks of the Virginia Lee because it reminds me of The Enchanted Forest. It was kind of a tradition to skip the last day of high school and drive down to Salem to smoke pot and get really creeped out by the sheer campiness of the whole place. I think they built Storybook Lane about the same time Gene Wilder was filming Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and there's something kind of, well, off about those things. It's like watching an old episode of The Electric Company and feeling like you're getting away with something just by being a part of it. Kind of like you're having sex with your aunt's friend or shoplifting cat food.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Lynnwood Apartments #D

Available in a week or so:

Dear internet: By the time you read this, this apartment will be rented. Various economic factors have made any and all advertising useless. Random people from the Midwest show up out of nowhere and rent apartments from me without even looking at them. People have started to offer to pay more than the asking rent price just to be at the top of the list. Current residents have begun to rent other apartments in the same building out of speculation. Cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Lynnwood Apartments #105

This apartment is already rented, but I like the video for it a lot.

Friday, November 5, 2010

1615 SE Taylor


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Dear Greg,
Let's talk about your craigslist ad.
You are a property owner and I'm just a lowly manager, so maybe I'm out of line here. But look at this from a renter's point of view:

REMEMBER TO LEAVE YOUR NAME and PHONE NUMBER TWICE.
- 1- How Many People will be living there?
- 2-What kind of job(s) do you have? and what is your monthy gross income?
- 3-OR if you are in school who is the source of your finding?
- 4-What is your move in time frame and what flexibility do you have?

REMEMBER TO LEAVE YOUR NAME and PHONE NUMBER TWICE.


The combination of allcaps and asking what kind of job(s) people have is somewhat off-putting. Maybe that's just me, though. I'm not sure. Also, you should consider going to EcoHaus and putting in some bamboo floors. Your turnover costs would be halved and you could probably charge about $50-$100 more per month. Plus you wouldn't have to charge the people moving out the cost of cleaning the carpet. It was nice meeting you in the spring of 2007.

3946 SE 28th Place


I haven't heard of Paragon Equity Partners before, but here's their latest craigslist offering. My favorite thing about this place is the following part of their CL ad:
Please call/TEXT! Doug at 503-941-0659 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 503-941-0659 end_of_the_skype_highlighting to arrange a showing. You can also follow or message me on Twitter @PortlandForRent.

Great. So now someone's doing the apartment rental thing on the twitter. This blog is so 2003. Not to mention Doug is inviting you to text him. Unless he's carrying around two phones (one for work, one for home), then I think he wins the spirit award for dedication. The last thing I want to see on my phone at 10:15am on a Sunday morning while I'm either hungover or at the beach with my family or both is "do U stil have the apt on 28th pl & do U exept ferrets?"
At any rate, although this duplex looks pretty ugly on the outside I think it's a pretty nice spot to live--especially if you're trying to get out of living in an apartment. If I lived there, I'd probably spend most of my free time here.

Monday, October 11, 2010

1942 SE Ladd


Here it is: My dream apartment at 1942 SE Ladd.
Here's what the FOR RENT sign says:
One bedroom unit at 1942 SE Ladd (facing street to your right), totally restored with french doors, hardwood floors, period details, tile bath, natural fir cabinets in kitchen, new plumbing and wiring, gas range and heat, laundry facilities, bicycle storage, big courtyard, and this great location. Non smoking, pets with approval only. $995 per month, $1250 security. Month to month rental.

I've been watching this place since I moved to the neighborhood in early 2000, back when it was $550/mo. I think they remodeled it in 2007 or 2008 or so. If I lived there, I'd have those french doors open all summer long and have dinner parties with interesting people that drink pernod and fernet branca. I would sit in on Anthropology classes at Reed and go to strip clubs "ironically" instead of normally. I would smoke filterless Nat Sherman Lights and drive a Karmann Ghia. I would take up unicycling and vacation in places that have a swim-up bar and always vote for whomever was running under the Pacific Green Party. My girlfriend would have one of those names that sound like a normal name but is spelled funny, like Malyssa or Gessyka or Dyan. I would care about things--like Muscular Dystrophy or Ovarian Cancer--or at least pretend to. I would make my own shampoo out of comfrey leaves and rosemary. Yup, I'd be a real catch, I would.
You can call them at 503.239.5363

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Claire


I think it was about 2006 when this place almost burned to the ground. It was totally a different place back then: Filled with lifers from back when the neighborhood was mostly methadone clinics and biker bars, and even the Barley Mill Pub was a strip club. Oh, 1980s, such a simpler time.
Anyway, I was managing a building on 14th and Belmont in 2006 (since bought by StarMetro Properties--a fun google) when I smelled the smoke in my kitchen. Minutes later I heard the sirens. And then it seemed like everyone in the neighborhood was congregating behind the fire line in front of The Claire, watching the firefighters throw burning chunks of plywood over the roof line to crash in sparky showers on the pavement below.
I will be forever humbled and embarrassed about something I did that night: My building down the street had an available studio and an available 1bd. Having lived through a fire that was not half as bad as the Claire's, I knew that these people were not going back to their apartments any time soon--if at all. So I told a few of the now-former tenants of the nearly-destroyed building that I had some apartments available. Most seemed as appreciative as they could possibly be considering the circumstances, although dumbfounded and numb from evacuating a burning apartment building. But one guy put me in my place: He said something along the lines of, "What are you, some kind of vulture preying on victims of a fire?" I was honestly trying to help, so I was quite taken aback by his accusation. Later that night I realized that I had learned a lesson in empathy.
Oh, and it turns out that the fire was started by a model train enthusiast. So there are two lessons to be learned here: Number one, don't market your $550 studio before the fire department actually extinguishes the fire, no matter how big you think the closet is. And number two, don't run those silly electric trains on carpet.
$1125 for a 2bd is more than I can afford, but congrats to whomever owns this place now because it looks kinda nice.

2834 SE 50th


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This craigslist ad seems promising, or at least interesting. I actually had to call the number to get the address, and there are no pictures in the ad. Best I can do is the google streetview map above. The fact that he's answering his phone at 7pm on a Thursday might be a good sign. $900 for a 2bd with hardwood floors seems like a pretty good deal. For comparison, I'm renting a 1920s 2.5bd on 20th and Salmon for $1140 (hardwoods) and a 2bd on 40th and Francis for $800 (carpet). If it really is just a triplex (tough to figure without visiting the place), then it seems like a relatively chill place.

House in the Woods

Right after high school, I moved into a pole building about half a mile from this place. We had seven acres of old growth douglas fir mixed with 2nd growth hemlock, spruce and various alders and poplars. Got kicked out after 3 months for leaving a broken dryer on the front porch. I'd love to move back there someday, but sadly I'm not 18 years old. So instead, there's this song:

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Clinton Court Apartments


I read somewhere that we hate our parents' architecture, but we love our grandparents' architecture. So I guess that means that since it's 2010 now we can begin to start appreciating things built in the 1950s like Clinton Court.
I don't like the carpet or the gas heat that probably isn't included in your rent, but not having upstairs neighbors is a definite plus. I'm normally not a big fan of large expanses of fertilized lawns, but something about the grass at Clinton Court makes me want to play lawn darts.
Sometimes when I'm scrolling through craigslist or doing my market surveys (when I have to go actually visit places like this pretending I'm looking for an apartment), I like to imagine that I really am looking for a new place to live. I'm fresh out of grad school, say Boise State or maybe Wyoming. I'm looking for a job in teaching but my real passion is starting a biodynamic goat cheese operation. Brenda, the landlord, is talking up the new energy-efficient windows but my eyes are fixed on the girl fumbling with her keys two apartments over. Her shoulder-length dark brown hair just barely obscures the top of the tattoo on the nape of her neck that reminds me of a mid-1990s corporate logo that I can't quite place. Sega Dreamcast? As a single-serving cup of yogurt drops from her grocery bag she turns her head and I notice that her too-pale face is framed perfectly by uneven home-cut bangs. The yogurt cup has cracked on the side after impacting the concrete, but only slightly so nothing has leaked out. She picks it up and sets it on the edge of the arm of the antique-ish chair that was obviously left behind by the previous tenants: It's sun-baked to the point that the grain is beginning to crack at the edges, but it looks comfortable enough. With her free hand she works the door open and disappears for a few seconds and then pokes her head and arm back out the door to retrieve the yogurt cup. Our eyes meet briefly and I turn away pretending to admire the obviously new polished nickel lever lock that Brenda has installed after each move-out. Yes, Brenda, I would like to take an application. As a matter of fact, would you mind if I filled this out right now? Am I first in line for this place? Brenda subconsciously adjusts her frosted blond hair and glances down at her heels and says yes, this apartment is yours if you pass the crime screening.
As I'm moving in 4 days later, I realize that the only piece of actual furniture that I've managed to hold on to since moving out of the dorms in Boise or Wyoming or wherever is a handed-down aluminum-legged dining room table with a formica kidney-shaped pattern on the top of it--and three of the possible four matching chairs. My major was in agriculture, not in moving furniture, so I'm having trouble figuring out how to get the table inside. Professor Channing knew everything about goats, but all those years grading papers in grad school taught me nothing about moving furniture.
"Having trouble?" says the throaty yet feminine voice behind me. I'm immediately startled and turn around to realize it's yogurt-bangs. The first thing I notice are the wool socks. It's pushing 80 degrees and she's wearing wool socks. "You have to turn it on its side," she says. And before I can even react she snubs her cigarette out on my sidewalk. I say my sidewalk because even though you can't get to her apartment without walking in front of her apartment, I assumed that this patch of cement was unofficially mine. It's strange with these 1950s places: I automatically assume that the sidewalk extending from the edge of my bedroom window to the opposite edge of my door is both community space and not. I reserve the right to put a folding REI chair there, and I expect no one to violate my perceived space. Yogurt-bangs simultaneously desecrates and solidifies this preconceived notion with two quick twists of her ankle. She picks up the outside end of the table, looks expectantly at me to grab my end, and then twists it 90 degrees.
"Now go left. No, your left," she says as we make the corner around the almond-colored Frigidaire and finally put it in a place that seems logical to me. I pretend to make sure that the legs of the table are in line with wall and notice that she's wearing bicycle shorts beneath her goldenrod and light purple dress. In a flash I remember my girlfriend--no, my ex-girlfriend now--back in Wyoming and unconsciously make a bare thigh comparison. Justine was tan, smooth, magazine quality. She was perfect in so many ways, and ever since we broke up two years ago I cringe with heart-broken longing whenever I smell her perfume. We had an inside joke about it and called it "Vanillaroma." To this day, I can't bake cookies without reeling back in regret.
I instantly pull myself up from under the table, embarrassed that perhaps yogurt-bangs caught me looking up her skirt. "Water pressure's pretty good here," she says. "Welcome to the neighborhood."

Woah. Sorry. Got a little carried away there. Would be a neat craigslist ad though.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

385 N Hayden Bay Drive

Woo-hoo!
Rent this one-bedroom condo from me and I'll be your facebook friend forever.

I have no idea how to rent this place. I did a little market survey of similar places in the neighborhood and the rents range from $599-$700. So I'm staying firm at $625. For me, renting apartments and houses in SE is easy because I'm pretty much my own demographic. But out in the weird purgatory that is half-Portland/half-Vancouver, I'm lost. Who lives out there? And why? Maybe you are a carousel operator at Jantzen Beach and you don't have a car? Maybe you want all the joys of living NEAR Vancouver without all the pesky tax breaks? I have no idea. I've had it on Craigslist for 2 weeks but not one phone call or email. Find someone to take this place for me and I'll give you $100 cash.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Valencia Apartments


I've always loved the Valencia. Living above a yarn store would give me a weird yet warm feeling of safety, like snuggling up in a wool blanket with 1990s Cher. The studios are always immaculately clean when I go check them out, pretending to need a studio. That is my sad life.
$735 seems like a lot for a studio there, especially since I think you have to pay for your own heat, so I can understand offering a special to get people in the door. But seriously? A free month at LA Fitness? That's like, the worst special ever. It's like getting a free 24oz Sprite. Two sips in, and I'm thinking it's more trouble than it's worth.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Buckman Heights


This is how you rent apartments. What a great website. I really like Summit Real Estate all of a sudden. Granted, this place looks like a failed retirement home, but still: Each of their properties has it's own section on the website, including floor plan pdfs, pretty pictures, an online application, and an online survey for residents (although I'm not sure exactly how useful that last one is). You can even enter your email address and they'll send you a note when an apartment is available. Seriously, kudos to Summit. Much better than the amateurish youtube videos and blogger account I currently utilize for all of my renting needs.

Cedarhusrt Village


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Although I drive by this place almost every day, I know very little about it. I know it's kind of new--maybe built around 2004 or something (portlandmaps.com won't tell me). I want to say that it was meant to be condos originally, but I have nothing to back up that assertion. At any rate, it's always given me a bad feeling for some reason. Their ad on craigslist doesn't help:
Please read the screening process and criteria requirements:

Move in costs are one half of the first month rent and last months rent plus $350 security deposit. $382.50 + $765 + $350 = $1,460.00 on move-in day. This is a 12 month lease.

The application fee for our 3rd party screening company is $35.00. The screening includes Rental reference, criminal history, and credit. Any bankruptcies or previous evictions would be considered a denial.

Also, your income must meet 3x's the monthly rent of the apartment. In this case your gross verifiable income must be $2,300 per month.

Like I said, I have no reason to dislike this place. Just something about it rubs me the wrong way. I don't think I'd rent an apartment from them. Of course, maybe they're awesome.

A very rare dog-friendly studio in SE


These are just so rare I just had to post it. Here's the craigslist ad. Don't ask me what that's a picture of. When I first saw it I thought it was overhead view of a bathroom I once saw in Morocco. I'm not sure if you garden, but when I read "Vegetable planting beds have quality soil and are ready to go for spring" I kinda wished I were a twentysomething with a golden retriever and a green thumb. Or maybe an asexual 40ish woman with a French bulldog and an unhealthy obsession with adding fresh okra to everything I cook. Okay, maybe not the latter.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Warnell Apartments #104

I have this studio coming available on Friday for a mere $610/mo. Rent includes water, sewer, garbage, hot water, and heat. If you or anyone you refer signs a 9-month lease with me for this place, I'll kick you over a $75 New Seasons gift card. 503.231.9169

Friday, March 5, 2010

Maison De Jardin

Although I'm a little upset that Hawthorne studios have apparently broken the $700 mark somehow, this place looks really pretty. It looks like it's been really taken care of, and you get a private garden. I'd live there if I were single.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Eats Shoots And Leaves


Oh, Wimbledon Square*. I just don't know what to say sometimes. Luckily, you make it easy for me:
"With the most extensive gym you'll find in any apartments here in Portland, 3 pools, hot tub and sauna, tanning beds, free wifi in our community center, basketball and tennis courts you'll save hundreds of dollars better spent somewhere else!"
WHAT THE F@*& ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, MEGAN!?!??!?1?

*Do not click on that link unless you are ready to be blown away by what sounds like the soundtrack for SimCity 2000. Actually, do click on the link. If 1981 had a website, that would be it.

Two apts I have this month...

Curry Court #19 is $650/mo:


Queen Marie #301 is $825/mo:

$50 gift card if you rent one of these from me and mention this blog.
$50 gift card if you send a referral to me and they move in.