PDX Apartments

Flagged On Craigslist

2012-01-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

For this piece of innocence:

Available 1/6/12: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2fywgWF-XQ

I don't know what to say about this one. I think it was originally a 1bd but when they filled in the pool back in '98 they added the sauna and clubhouse onto this apartment. The result is a labyrinth of Bowie-esque proportions. Well, maybe not THAT cool, but I could definitely Jennifer Connelly running around in there. Aw hell, I could see her just about anywhere to be honest with you. As long as she doesn't ever play Audrey Hepburn in some sort of biopic. That (and her craggy hip bones that you can cut bread on) is what ruined Jennifer Love Hewitt for me. She is dead to me now. You hear that Jennifer Love Hewitt?!? DEAD!

Oh crap. Now I have to go watch Labyrinth again or I'm going to be saying, "You remind me of the babe" all day. Can you imagine if you were viewing an apartment and the landlord-dude said that to you? I'd cross that place off my list in a heartbeat, unless the landlord actually WAS Jareth the Goblin King.
Um...yeah. Tangent.
Water, sewer, garbage included. Off-street parking, on-site laundry and management. Small dog friendly. Indoor cat friendly.
$300-$700 deposit.
No pet rent!
$150 cat deposit.
$300 dog deposit.
No owl deposit!
$40 app fee.

As suggested, I posted on the craigslist forums to ask why that would get flagged. I got all kinds of answers. Some were obviously wrong: "No posting youtube links on craigslist," and "It's against the rules to post an ad for an apartment that isn't available immediately." Others were kind of sad to me, and they were all along the lines of, "You didn't say anything about the apartment!" Most had some misspellings. I was actually confused why it was removed, as I read through the entire Terms Of Use on Craigslist and found nothing wrong with it. Finally I got an answer: "Stop trying to be funny. We'll flag whatever we want."

Virginia Lee Apartments

2011-12-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited about this listing!

VIDEO TOUR of a similar studio in the same building: (the one we currently have for rent is approximately 50 square feet bigger than the studio show in the video)

This is a one of a kind studio in the heart of Ladd's Addition. It is in a small 12-unit building just minutes away from Hawthorne, Division, Belmont, Downtown and many other cool areas! We have a wonderful community of people here in our building, many of them long-term residents.This suite has a spacious living room. This studio also has a few walk closets and storage areas making it a very live-able space. Stunning hardwood floors throughout the unit, tile floor in bathroom, and many other nice amenities. This studio, as seen in the video, gets beautiful day light flowing in through the living room, kitchen and bathroom windows. This studio is nestled away from the main street (in the back corner of the building) so it remains very quiet. We have a 10 to 10 rule here, no loud noise before 10 am and after 10 pm.

I don't know where to start! Okay. Calm down. Patience.
I love the fact that--for no discernible reason--the video of the apartment has a fucking Gold Panda song in it. And it's a beautiful video. I say that only because it looks exactly like the videos for my apartments, but instead of my annoying, "Afternoon everybody, nice seeing you again," you get British electronica. Also! If you pause the video at :19 seconds, then I think I can see one of my ex-girlfriends. And it's kind of a pretty place, too: Hardwood floors, what looks like the original hex-tile in the bathroom, a toilet from the late 1940s. My only complaint is that they took out the steam radiators and replaced it with an ugly gas wall unit.
I've always liked the looks of the Virginia Lee because it reminds me of The Enchanted Forest. It was kind of a tradition to skip the last day of high school and drive down to Salem to smoke pot and get really creeped out by the sheer campiness of the whole place. I think they built Storybook Lane about the same time Gene Wilder was filming Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and there's something kind of, well, off about those things. It's like watching an old episode of The Electric Company and feeling like you're getting away with something just by being a part of it. Kind of like you're having sex with your aunt's friend or shoplifting cat food.

Strange Days

2011-10-22T23:59:00.000-07:00

I think we've hit a point in the apartment shortage that is beyond my level of comprehension. I'm going to present my evidence, and then explain later, deal? Here's the craigslist ad I posted in its entirety:

Available immediately:
I have a small ground floor 2bd apartment with brand new carpet/vinyl. All the windows face west so it's a pretty sunny little place. Here's a video that I took in 2007:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVmNNWtFKmo

I gotta say, 2007 was a long time ago so it looks a lot better to me these days. Watching old videos makes me sad and now I wish it really was 2007. So many things I would do differently. Last week's episode of Community has made me a little too introspective for my own good, I think. You can watch it on hulu if you want. Sometimes now I think that going to the Nightlight Lounge on March 27th, 2007 created a whole different timeline and now I'm "Evil Martin" complete with goatee. And in the REAL timeline--the timeline I'm supposed to be in--I'm happily married and in love and I'm not listening to old Depeche Mode albums so much. Don't get me wrong: Violator is awesome and all, but I bet that in the real timeline my musical tastes have evolved a little. And now I'm realizing that this ad for an apartment is getting kind of...awkward.

Okay. Let's keep it together here.

$735/mo on a 9-month lease includes water, sewer, garbage. On-site laundry, free off-street parking.
Cat deposit is $150.
Small dog deposit is $250.
Apt. deposit is $300-$700 depending on your credit and rental history.
Application charge is $40 per person.

Email is best, but you can also call me at 503.771.4040.

It's a totally shitty apartment but it's technically two bedrooms and way under market so I figured the only way I was going to rent it was being funny in my ad. I put in new carpet and vinyl and painted every square inch of the place, but it's just eyeliner and I know it. I figured with a Depeche Mode reference in the ad I'd get someone that sees the place for what it is and is happy. Sure enough, a couple of 21-year-old girls are the first ones to show up and they take it.

Normally, I'd call it good and move on. But as I'm signing paperwork with them, one of them flat-out asks me, "What did your ad mean?" I was a little taken aback so I asked her to elaborate. At this point I was still assuming that my awesome marketing technique was what brought them in. She responded honestly and truthfully, "What's a depeche mode?"

Once, in the summer of 2001, I wasn't paying attention while hiking and I fell off a small cliff. I slipped on some gravel and hit my chin on a sharp rock on my way down before landing in a ponderosa pine sapling. I thankfully didn't break any bones but ended up bleeding all over the place. When I extracted myself from the tree and realized that I was in the middle of the Oregon desert, alone, bleeding profusely, and nowhere near a medical facility, I had a "moment." I remember how quickly the drops of blood disappeared in the sandy floor beneath my feet and thinking, "Wow, life is so fragile. I'm a tube of blood and meat and sausage and if I don't take care of this soon I'm going to get absorbed into this desert as easily as anything else." And the weird thing was, I was kind of accepting for a minute. It was amazing how quickly the sand drank up and soaked up the the steady stream of blood that I gave up. It seemed like an hour but it was probably less than minute, but I remembered that I always keep a supply of maxi pads in the car so I eventually crawled the sixth tenths of a mile back to my car and taped a bunch of feminine hygiene products to the deep slice in my chin and drove to the medical center in Prineville.

And so ten years later, some random 21-year-old is asking me what a depeche mode is. The scar on my chin immediately starts to itch and I'm completely out of maxi pads.

Lynnwood Apartments #D

2011-10-04T00:51:00.000-07:00

Available in a week or so:

Dear internet: By the time you read this, this apartment will be rented. Various economic factors have made any and all advertising useless. Random people from the Midwest show up out of nowhere and rent apartments from me without even looking at them. People have started to offer to pay more than the asking rent price just to be at the top of the list. Current residents have begun to rent other apartments in the same building out of speculation. Cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria.

Lynnwood Apartments #105

2011-03-23T01:03:00.001-07:00

This apartment is already rented, but I like the video for it a lot.

Padmapper

2011-01-07T21:58:00.001-08:00

Well, this is neat:

Fun Apartment Contest!

2010-11-12T21:35:00.000-08:00

$25 gift card to the very New Seasons that this apartment building advertises to be within walking distance to for the first person that can tell me the two and a half things that are wrong with this craigslist ad.
HINTS!
The first issue can be found here.
The second issue is a borderline Fair Housing issue, if you're picky like I am.
The 2.5th issue is logistical, based on the architectural footprint of the building, and don't worry if you can't get this one because it doesn't really count.

I'm purposely picking on these people because they have a history of shadiness, based on what I've heard from people that have been turned down from living there. I have no idea whether or not the stories I've heard are true, and I want to make that clear. But I personally believe them based on the two and half issues I can see with their recent craigslist ad. $25 will get you a butt-load of bulk lentils, so please make your best guesses!

1615 SE Taylor

2010-11-05T01:28:00.000-07:00

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Dear Greg,
Let's talk about your craigslist ad.
You are a property owner and I'm just a lowly manager, so maybe I'm out of line here. But look at this from a renter's point of view:

REMEMBER TO LEAVE YOUR NAME and PHONE NUMBER TWICE.
- 1- How Many People will be living there?
- 2-What kind of job(s) do you have? and what is your monthy gross income?
- 3-OR if you are in school who is the source of your finding?
- 4-What is your move in time frame and what flexibility do you have?

REMEMBER TO LEAVE YOUR NAME and PHONE NUMBER TWICE.

The combination of allcaps and asking what kind of job(s) people have is somewhat off-putting. Maybe that's just me, though. I'm not sure. Also, you should consider going to EcoHaus and putting in some bamboo floors. Your turnover costs would be halved and you could probably charge about $50-$100 more per month. Plus you wouldn't have to charge the people moving out the cost of cleaning the carpet. It was nice meeting you in the spring of 2007.

3946 SE 28th Place

2010-11-05T00:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't heard of Paragon Equity Partners before, but here's their latest craigslist offering. My favorite thing about this place is the following part of their CL ad:

Please call/TEXT! Doug at 503-941-0659 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 503-941-0659 end_of_the_skype_highlighting to arrange a showing. You can also follow or message me on Twitter @PortlandForRent.

Great. So now someone's doing the apartment rental thing on the twitter. This blog is so 2003. Not to mention Doug is inviting you to text him. Unless he's carrying around two phones (one for work, one for home), then I think he wins the spirit award for dedication. The last thing I want to see on my phone at 10:15am on a Sunday morning while I'm either hungover or at the beach with my family or both is "do U stil have the apt on 28th pl & do U exept ferrets?"
At any rate, although this duplex looks pretty ugly on the outside I think it's a pretty nice spot to live--especially if you're trying to get out of living in an apartment. If I lived there, I'd probably spend most of my free time here.

Today in, "Things About Wimbledon Square That Annoy Me"

2010-10-11T18:09:00.001-07:00

INTERACTIVE 3D FLOORPLANS!
This is why I have gained 5 pounds this year.

1942 SE Ladd

2010-10-11T17:40:00.001-07:00

Here it is: My dream apartment at 1942 SE Ladd.
Here's what the FOR RENT sign says:

One bedroom unit at 1942 SE Ladd (facing street to your right), totally restored with french doors, hardwood floors, period details, tile bath, natural fir cabinets in kitchen, new plumbing and wiring, gas range and heat, laundry facilities, bicycle storage, big courtyard, and this great location. Non smoking, pets with approval only. $995 per month, $1250 security. Month to month rental.

I've been watching this place since I moved to the neighborhood in early 2000, back when it was $550/mo. I think they remodeled it in 2007 or 2008 or so. If I lived there, I'd have those french doors open all summer long and have dinner parties with interesting people that drink pernod and fernet branca. I would sit in on Anthropology classes at Reed and go to strip clubs "ironically" instead of normally. I would smoke filterless Nat Sherman Lights and drive a Karmann Ghia. I would take up unicycling and vacation in places that have a swim-up bar and always vote for whomever was running under the Pacific Green Party. My girlfriend would have one of those names that sound like a normal name but is spelled funny, like Malyssa or Gessyka or Dyan. I would care about things--like Muscular Dystrophy or Ovarian Cancer--or at least pretend to. I would make my own shampoo out of comfrey leaves and rosemary. Yup, I'd be a real catch, I would.
You can call them at 503.239.5363

The Claire

2010-07-22T19:14:00.001-07:00

I think it was about 2006 when this place almost burned to the ground. It was totally a different place back then: Filled with lifers from back when the neighborhood was mostly methadone clinics and biker bars, and even the Barley Mill Pub was a strip club. Oh, 1980s, such a simpler time.
Anyway, I was managing a building on 14th and Belmont in 2006 (since bought by StarMetro Properties--a fun google) when I smelled the smoke in my kitchen. Minutes later I heard the sirens. And then it seemed like everyone in the neighborhood was congregating behind the fire line in front of The Claire, watching the firefighters throw burning chunks of plywood over the roof line to crash in sparky showers on the pavement below.
I will be forever humbled and embarrassed about something I did that night: My building down the street had an available studio and an available 1bd. Having lived through a fire that was not half as bad as the Claire's, I knew that these people were not going back to their apartments any time soon--if at all. So I told a few of the now-former tenants of the nearly-destroyed building that I had some apartments available. Most seemed as appreciative as they could possibly be considering the circumstances, although dumbfounded and numb from evacuating a burning apartment building. But one guy put me in my place: He said something along the lines of, "What are you, some kind of vulture preying on victims of a fire?" I was honestly trying to help, so I was quite taken aback by his accusation. Later that night I realized that I had learned a lesson in empathy.
Oh, and it turns out that the fire was started by a model train enthusiast. So there are two lessons to be learned here: Number one, don't market your $550 studio before the fire department actually extinguishes the fire, no matter how big you think the closet is. And number two, don't run those silly electric trains on carpet.
$1125 for a 2bd is more than I can afford, but congrats to whomever owns this place now because it looks kinda nice.

2834 SE 50th

2010-07-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

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This craigslist ad seems promising, or at least interesting. I actually had to call the number to get the address, and there are no pictures in the ad. Best I can do is the google streetview map above. The fact that he's answering his phone at 7pm on a Thursday might be a good sign. $900 for a 2bd with hardwood floors seems like a pretty good deal. For comparison, I'm renting a 1920s 2.5bd on 20th and Salmon for $1140 (hardwoods) and a 2bd on 40th and Francis for $800 (carpet). If it really is just a triplex (tough to figure without visiting the place), then it seems like a relatively chill place.

House in the Woods

2010-07-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

Right after high school, I moved into a pole building about half a mile from this place. We had seven acres of old growth douglas fir mixed with 2nd growth hemlock, spruce and various alders and poplars. Got kicked out after 3 months for leaving a broken dryer on the front porch. I'd love to move back there someday, but sadly I'm not 18 years old. So instead, there's this song:

Orenco Station--Nexus

2010-07-22T17:49:00.000-07:00

Other than driving by this place once two years ago, I don't really know much about Orenco Station. It's supposed to be a high-density neighborhood right on the MAX line with all the shopping/bars/stores you could possibly need within walking distance, which I think is pretty awesome--especially for Hillsboro (or Beaverton, or whatever town it's in). I'm thinking it's a mixture of rentals and condos, which is also pretty cool in terms of making sure there are a good mix of people in the neighborhood. They even have a farmer's market that, for some reason, Captured By Porches Brewery attends. So even though I don't know anyone that has any intention of living in this place, no matter how nice it sounds, I feel like I have to bring up their new craigslist ad:

Yup, Nexus has all the good stuff...seriously. We don't mess around masking old with new, we are the real deal. Nexus was built in 2007 and 2008, so is more than just new carpet and paint. Each Apartment Home is air conditioned, wired for fios, equipped with full sized washer/ dryer. Nexus also has a sparkly pool, hot tub, firepit, 24 hour gym, business center, media room, awesome staff....not to mention we are located right in the heart of Orenco Station, next door to the Orenco Station Max. If that doesn't work for ya, Starbucks and Newseasons are literally across the street, seriously.

When I first read it, I thought it was kinda clever because that's probably how I would try to write an ad for something like Orenco: Kinda casual and maybe a little braggy. But when I read it a second and third time I began to get annoyed by three things:

The phrase "We are the real deal" seems kind of douchy for some reason.
The misspelling of "New Seasons." It is so not one word.
The reuse of the word "seriously." It's used in the first sentence after points of ellipsis, and then in the last sentence it's used after a comma. Is this intentional? If so, is it reused to subtly frame the paragraph? It's driving me crazy.

If it weren't after business hours, I'd probably call up Orenco Station and ask to speak to the author of this ad, just so I can find some closure to my issue with that adverb. I am "seriously" not going to be able to sleep tonight because of this.

UPDATE: Oh crap. It gets worse. SERIOUSLY:

Nexus is a newer community located in the heart of Orenco Station. We have it all here Seriously.. Shopping just seconds away, Costco,New Seasons and outdoor mall. Our clubhouse fetures a business center complete with FREE faxing for our residents! and 24hour fitness center. If you like lounging by the pool we have that too.. we also offer large gas grill and Fire pit to have the ultimate summer bbq by the pool... We love love our residents SERIOUSLY!!

UPDATE 2: Kill me now.

Seriously, Live Here.

Clinton Court Apartments

2010-07-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

I read somewhere that we hate our parents' architecture, but we love our grandparents' architecture. So I guess that means that since it's 2010 now we can begin to start appreciating things built in the 1950s like Clinton Court.
I don't like the carpet or the gas heat that probably isn't included in your rent, but not having upstairs neighbors is a definite plus. I'm normally not a big fan of large expanses of fertilized lawns, but something about the grass at Clinton Court makes me want to play lawn darts.
Sometimes when I'm scrolling through craigslist or doing my market surveys (when I have to go actually visit places like this pretending I'm looking for an apartment), I like to imagine that I really am looking for a new place to live. I'm fresh out of grad school, say Boise State or maybe Wyoming. I'm looking for a job in teaching but my real passion is starting a biodynamic goat cheese operation. Brenda, the landlord, is talking up the new energy-efficient windows but my eyes are fixed on the girl fumbling with her keys two apartments over. Her shoulder-length dark brown hair just barely obscures the top of the tattoo on the nape of her neck that reminds me of a mid-1990s corporate logo that I can't quite place. Sega Dreamcast? As a single-serving cup of yogurt drops from her grocery bag she turns her head and I notice that her too-pale face is framed perfectly by uneven home-cut bangs. The yogurt cup has cracked on the side after impacting the concrete, but only slightly so nothing has leaked out. She picks it up and sets it on the edge of the arm of the antique-ish chair that was obviously left behind by the previous tenants: It's sun-baked to the point that the grain is beginning to crack at the edges, but it looks comfortable enough. With her free hand she works the door open and disappears for a few seconds and then pokes her head and arm back out the door to retrieve the yogurt cup. Our eyes meet briefly and I turn away pretending to admire the obviously new polished nickel lever lock that Brenda has installed after each move-out. Yes, Brenda, I would like to take an application. As a matter of fact, would you mind if I filled this out right now? Am I first in line for this place? Brenda subconsciously adjusts her frosted blond hair and glances down at her heels and says yes, this apartment is yours if you pass the crime screening.
As I'm moving in 4 days later, I realize that the only piece of actual furniture that I've managed to hold on to since moving out of the dorms in Boise or Wyoming or wherever is a handed-down aluminum-legged dining room table with a formica kidney-shaped pattern on the top of it--and three of the possible four matching chairs. My major was in agriculture, not in moving furniture, so I'm having trouble figuring out how to get the table inside. Professor Channing knew everything about goats, but all those years grading papers in grad school taught me nothing about moving furniture.
"Having trouble?" says the throaty yet feminine voice behind me. I'm immediately startled and turn around to realize it's yogurt-bangs. The first thing I notice are the wool socks. It's pushing 80 degrees and she's wearing wool socks. "You have to turn it on its side," she says. And before I can even react she snubs her cigarette out on my sidewalk. I say my sidewalk because even though you can't get to her apartment without walking in front of her apartment, I assumed that this patch of cement was unofficially mine. It's strange with these 1950s places: I automatically assume that the sidewalk extending from the edge of my bedroom window to the opposite edge of my door is both community space and not. I reserve the right to put a folding REI chair there, and I expect no one to violate my perceived space. Yogurt-bangs simultaneously desecrates and solidifies this preconceived notion with two quick twists of her ankle. She picks up the outside end of the table, looks expectantly at me to grab my end, and then twists it 90 degrees.
"Now go left. No, your left," she says as we make the corner around the almond-colored Frigidaire and finally put it in a place that seems logical to me. I pretend to make sure that the legs of the table are in line with wall and notice that she's wearing bicycle shorts beneath her goldenrod and light purple dress. In a flash I remember my girlfriend--no, my ex-girlfriend now--back in Wyoming and unconsciously make a bare thigh comparison. Justine was tan, smooth, magazine quality. She was perfect in so many ways, and ever since we broke up two years ago I cringe with heart-broken longing whenever I smell her perfume. We had an inside joke about it and called it "Vanillaroma." To this day, I can't bake cookies without reeling back in regret.
I instantly pull myself up from under the table, embarrassed that perhaps yogurt-bangs caught me looking up her skirt. "Water pressure's pretty good here," she says. "Welcome to the neighborhood."

Woah. Sorry. Got a little carried away there. Would be a neat craigslist ad though.

I know I have to stop ragging on Wimbledon Square, but...

2010-07-15T22:10:00.000-07:00

seriously. What's up with the weird rental amounts? $801? $632 ? $708?
I mean, c'mon. Yes, I understand it's a marketing gimmick and it makes you stand out on craigslist a little. But if someone at a bar asked me how much my rent was and I had to say "Oh, it's $673 per month not including utilities," then I would feel like a total douche nozzle. So congratulations, Wimbledon Square Apartments: You have finally become so annoying that you have your own actual tag/label on this stupid blog now. I'm going to slowly go through every post about you from the last 4 years and label them with "Wimbledon" so my disdain can be documented and possibly brought up in a future libel lawsuit.

385 N Hayden Bay Drive

2010-07-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

Woo-hoo!
Rent this one-bedroom condo from me and I'll be your facebook friend forever.

I have no idea how to rent this place. I did a little market survey of similar places in the neighborhood and the rents range from $599-$700. So I'm staying firm at $625. For me, renting apartments and houses in SE is easy because I'm pretty much my own demographic. But out in the weird purgatory that is half-Portland/half-Vancouver, I'm lost. Who lives out there? And why? Maybe you are a carousel operator at Jantzen Beach and you don't have a car? Maybe you want all the joys of living NEAR Vancouver without all the pesky tax breaks? I have no idea. I've had it on Craigslist for 2 weeks but not one phone call or email. Find someone to take this place for me and I'll give you $100 cash.

I'm on a boat!

2010-06-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

What do Mel Gibson, Keanu Reeves, and Steve Guttenberg all have in common? They've all played characters that have lived the best movie cliche ever: Living on a boat. Sometimes I wish I weren't all responsible and stuff, because I could totally see myself being a washed-up former cop that starts his own detective agency who one day takes on the case of a lifetime. With sexy results!

Valencia Apartments

2010-06-12T00:05:00.000-07:00

I've always loved the Valencia. Living above a yarn store would give me a weird yet warm feeling of safety, like snuggling up in a wool blanket with 1990s Cher. The studios are always immaculately clean when I go check them out, pretending to need a studio. That is my sad life.
$735 seems like a lot for a studio there, especially since I think you have to pay for your own heat, so I can understand offering a special to get people in the door. But seriously? A free month at LA Fitness? That's like, the worst special ever. It's like getting a free 24oz Sprite. Two sips in, and I'm thinking it's more trouble than it's worth.

Dogs in Snow

2010-06-11T23:49:00.000-07:00

Only at the Ardea.
Whatevs.
Totally not my demographic.
UPDATE: Whoever writes the ads for the Ardea is a total douche nozzle.
For example:
"NEED A MAN CAVE?"
"NUT NUT NUTTIN"
Oh my god. They keep posting more as I'm writing this blog post. I'm going to be up all night LOLing.
Here's a link to all of them.
I was kind of in a bad mood until I found this, so thanks, Ardea. Now whenever I'm feeling blue, I'll just think of you and keep Nut, Nut, Nuttin' along.

Buckman Heights

2010-04-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

This is how you rent apartments. What a great website. I really like Summit Real Estate all of a sudden. Granted, this place looks like a failed retirement home, but still: Each of their properties has it's own section on the website, including floor plan pdfs, pretty pictures, an online application, and an online survey for residents (although I'm not sure exactly how useful that last one is). You can even enter your email address and they'll send you a note when an apartment is available. Seriously, kudos to Summit. Much better than the amateurish youtube videos and blogger account I currently utilize for all of my renting needs.

Cedarhusrt Village

2010-04-26T20:03:00.000-07:00

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Although I drive by this place almost every day, I know very little about it. I know it's kind of new--maybe built around 2004 or something (portlandmaps.com won't tell me). I want to say that it was meant to be condos originally, but I have nothing to back up that assertion. At any rate, it's always given me a bad feeling for some reason. Their ad on craigslist doesn't help:

Please read the screening process and criteria requirements:

Move in costs are one half of the first month rent and last months rent plus $350 security deposit. $382.50 + $765 + $350 = $1,460.00 on move-in day. This is a 12 month lease.

The application fee for our 3rd party screening company is $35.00. The screening includes Rental reference, criminal history, and credit. Any bankruptcies or previous evictions would be considered a denial.

Also, your income must meet 3x's the monthly rent of the apartment. In this case your gross verifiable income must be $2,300 per month.

Like I said, I have no reason to dislike this place. Just something about it rubs me the wrong way. I don't think I'd rent an apartment from them. Of course, maybe they're awesome.

A very rare dog-friendly studio in SE

2010-04-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

These are just so rare I just had to post it. Here's the craigslist ad. Don't ask me what that's a picture of. When I first saw it I thought it was overhead view of a bathroom I once saw in Morocco. I'm not sure if you garden, but when I read "Vegetable planting beds have quality soil and are ready to go for spring" I kinda wished I were a twentysomething with a golden retriever and a green thumb. Or maybe an asexual 40ish woman with a French bulldog and an unhealthy obsession with adding fresh okra to everything I cook. Okay, maybe not the latter.

Reader Questions!

2010-04-26T19:16:00.001-07:00

Elbert asks:

When should I start looking for a place and when should I start the moving process?
Do you have any studios around PSU that will be available in June-July? My budget is around 500-650.

I always tell people to call me about 30 days before they want to move. Apartment managers love pre-leasing apartments (renting apartments before the current tenants have moved out). Obviously our bottom lines look better if the apartment is vacant for as short as possible. And in my case, I even get a $25 bonus if someone signs a lease before the old residents move out. Since about 75% of people that that move out give their 30 day notices when they pay their rent, the best day to call is the 4th or 5th of the month. So if you wanted to move in around July 10th, start calling around on June 5th, for example. Given the bad economy, however, you can probably just start calling the day you get into town because just about everyone I know has an apartment available. And Elbert, I do have an apartment near PSU for $650. It's here.

Liz asks:

hi! I am really interested in the curry court apartments, but I can't find a phone number to contact you! How would I go about the application process? Thanks!

Yeah, I really need to put some contact info on the front page of this blog. My number is 503.231.9169.

Anonymous asks:

I was told I'm required to pay move-in and move-out fees of $200 for a condo I'm renting. When I brought up the new illegality of this, the leasing agent assured it's legality because the money goes to the building/HOA. I don't see how this makes it legal. If the HOA requires MI/MO fees, wouldn't it fall upon the condo owner to pay them? Any advice?

Sweet christ that's a good question. I've been googling the crap out of it for the last 20 minutes and can't seem to get a straight answer as to how that new law applies to HOAs. I was looking at rentals in Astoria the other day and noticed that some property management company was still charging move-in fees. With a law as complicated as this one, sometimes it might take a few lawsuits/friendly judicial inquiries to figure out what's what. I wish I could help you. I'll keep trying.

Rob asks:

Hi Martin. Like your site. I wonder if you've ever addressed the concept of property ads that drastically overstate the square footage of an apt? I looked at 132 SE 18th, a big fourplex listed on Realty Management Advisors. They advertise it at 1200 sq ft. Well, I brought my tape measure. It's actually 950 sq ft. I understand rounding up, but 250 sq ft of rounding up? Would like to read your comments on this practice.

So true. When I first started at this job back in 2000, I had this handy list of each apartment unit in the building that had the square footage listed right next to it. I had no reason not to believe it, so I told everyone that my studios at the Warnell were 450 square feet. Then one day, a girl moved in to apartment 103 from Lansing, Michigan--pulled up in her U-Haul without ever seeing the place first hand. We signed paperwork and she gave me a check, then she pulled out her tape measure: 360 square feet. This was in 2003 so I had been unintentionally lying for over 3 years. I had no reason to question my paperwork, even though--really--who knows where it came from or what kind of blind mathematically-challenged former apartment manager came up with those numbers. Rob, this issue really deserves its own post, so I'll get on that. Thanks!

Amy asks:

We're relocating from Texas to PDX the first week of June. We have been looking for a 2 bedroom from Montavilla-ish SE to Holgate. We have two cats, both well behaved and a year old. Do you know if you have any vacancies coming up that would fit our needs? We're trying to stay under $825. Thanks in advance!

I have 2 notices at Creston Villa, both for 2-bedrooms at $795 each. Give me a call anytime!

Warnell Apartments #104

2010-04-14T12:37:00.000-07:00

I have this studio coming available on Friday for a mere $610/mo. Rent includes water, sewer, garbage, hot water, and heat. If you or anyone you refer signs a 9-month lease with me for this place, I'll kick you over a $75 New Seasons gift card. 503.231.9169

For the owners...

2010-04-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if any multi-family property owners read this blog. My assumption is that most people that navigate here found it on the google or clicked over from a craigslist ad. But the other day someone forwarded me this article, and it seems relevant to my interests. So if you own a building and want to know whether or not to go the property management route, check it out. Also, if you own a nice 1920s bricker walk-up in 97214, let me manage it!

Maison De Jardin

2010-03-05T07:42:00.000-08:00

Although I'm a little upset that Hawthorne studios have apparently broken the $700 mark somehow, this place looks really pretty. It looks like it's been really taken care of, and you get a private garden. I'd live there if I were single.

Eats Shoots And Leaves

2010-03-04T06:10:00.001-08:00

Oh, Wimbledon Square*. I just don't know what to say sometimes. Luckily, you make it easy for me:

"With the most extensive gym you'll find in any apartments here in Portland, 3 pools, hot tub and sauna, tanning beds, free wifi in our community center, basketball and tennis courts you'll save hundreds of dollars better spent somewhere else!"

WHAT THE F@*& ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, MEGAN!?!??!?1?

*Do not click on that link unless you are ready to be blown away by what sounds like the soundtrack for SimCity 2000. Actually, do click on the link. If 1981 had a website, that would be it.

Two apts I have this month...

2010-03-04T06:03:00.000-08:00

Curry Court #19 is $650/mo:

Queen Marie #301 is $825/mo:

$50 gift card if you rent one of these from me and mention this blog.
$50 gift card if you send a referral to me and they move in.

Breakin' the Law.

2010-03-03T07:50:00.000-08:00

Okay, so we all know that House Bill 771 abolished pet fees right? Head over to Portland Craigslist and type in "pet fee" in quotes in the search bar. Most of the results will come up as places in Vancouver, and another good percentage of the results will be because the phrase "no pet fee" is in the ad. But an astonishingly numerous amount of rentals in Portland seem to still be advertising that they charge a pet fee!
Now, I'm not a fancy big time lawyer or anything (although I am quite fancy sometimes). But I would imagine that if one had enough time, one could make quite a living off of legal settlements from these places. I'm not sure that these ads are discriminatory, like when people advertise "no kids" or something, but you think there would be consequences.
I'm not suggesting that you try to make a living this way, by the way. Nor am I linking to any of the "pet fee" ads. I'm just curious.

Woot! Reader Question!

2010-03-03T07:29:00.000-08:00

Martin. Avid reader of your site, even when not looking for a new place to live. I need help and a prayer- esp. considering what I am looking for. I have a yellow lab, looking for a 700+ sq. foot place (apt or house), close-in, and hopefully not over 900 a month....

Mission impossible? Yeah... I was afraid of that. But I was hoping that you may be able to help? I would forever be in your debt.

Hey Gerry:
If you're alright with the SE 40th and Powell, my Creston Villa Apts complex sometimes has 750 sq ft 2bds for $775-$825. I'm currently full, but I'm sure i'll have one in the next few months. APM has such a huge chunk of affordable 2bds in the close-in area, but they don't accept dogs.
What about this craigslist ad? I can't find them on the google though for some reason.
Or this downstairs part of a house on Mississippi?
Or this one on 61st? Too far?

A couple years ago when I started this blog I found most of the content just by taking my newborn son on walks around the neighborhood and seeing all the "for rent" signs. Our "territory" back then was bordered by Burnside and Division to the north and south, and 35th and 11th to the east and west. I always thought it was pretty amazing how most of the smaller complexes, plexes, and houses would rely solely on a sign. Maybe this weekend would be a good time to take the dog on an extended walk? Supposed to be 63 and sunny on Saturday.

In the mean time, I'll keep an eye out for dog-friendly places. You'll have to let me know if you absolutely want hardwood floors, because that might be the deal-breaker as far as "close-in" is concerned. Thanks for reading!

More 2121 Belmont lulz

2010-02-27T04:36:00.001-08:00

It seems that 2121 Belmont--for some reason a project that I've been picking on (fairly?) since they broke ground--may be foreclosing soon. Despite being 94% occupied and getting at least $1.80/mo per square foot, that's apparently not even close to enough money to break even. For some context on $ per square foot, I have 2-bedrooms on 40th and Francis that fetch just over $1 per square foot (and that building makes pretty good money overall), and 1-bedrooms at the Queen Marie that get about $1.50 per square foot (and again, that building makes a pretty good profit). The article linked above is best summed up by this quote from Gary Winkler, portland real estate expert:

"But renters want to pay the same price, regardless of whether a unit has granite countertops or whatever."

My guess is that 2121 Belmont broke their budget with all those balloons they put out each morning. That can't be cheap.

Crown Point Apartments

2010-01-05T22:05:00.001-08:00

The only reason I'm posting this is because I think that's an awesome picture. I'm not sure what the landlord here is trying to convey by putting this in his or her ad, but I'm pretty sure their motive was simply, "Whoa. It totally snowed." Kudos to them for not shoveling and instead, well, marketing. Crown Point is at 2925 SE 50th and they have a one-bedroom for $695. 503.234.7632.

Wimbledon Square

2010-01-05T21:48:00.000-08:00

Oh, Wimbledon. You'll never be able to shake this.

The Money Shot Is At 1:33

2010-01-05T21:37:00.000-08:00

Rule #1: Keep yourself out of the video.
Ashley Court has a 2bd for $775. Specials, storage, parking, etc.
503.232.8200

Hudson Court Apartments

2010-01-05T21:09:00.000-08:00

This post is monumental in two ways. Way the first: They are giving away flat-screen TVs upon moving in. That's just nutty. Way the second: This is the first sponsored post I've done. Someone told me that if you accept gifts or payment for a blog post you legally had to report it, so there ya go: I'm writing this in exchange for a 22oz bottle of Ninkasi. Okay, let's see here, what's going on at Hudson Court? It's at 4129 SE 39th, that's nice. There's a two-bedroom for $750 (about $25-$50 under market) that looks like it has new carpet and lino. Oh, and a FREE FLAT SCREEN. Whatever. It's probably a Sorny. Do give Jessica a call at 503.774.3611 and check out her apartment. Tell her that the $4.59 she spent on that beer for me was well-spent. Let us all now celebrate my new paying gig as a blogger by drinking beer. Specifically, Tricerahops Double IPA.

Kailash Ecovillage

2009-12-22T06:36:00.001-08:00

Oh man, why didn't I think of this? Oh yeah. I can barely keep a blog going, so having the patience to turn the old Cabana Apartments into neo-hippie paradise would probably make me want to get pregnant at Arby's. Anyway, I hope this works. Good luck to them. They have an apartment or two open, but I'd like to see some bamboo floors in there--more expensive, sure, but they last 10 times longer than carpet. Not to mention the off-gassing properties of petroleum based materials in carpet.

Creston Villa #12, and a little incentive comparison

2009-12-22T06:11:00.001-08:00

I have an apartment coming available in a couple days. It's a two-bedroom townhome for $775:

So yeah, there it is. Not a bad little place. It's always been difficult to rent apartments around xmas, but it's especially hard this year because of the crappy economy. So this morning I'm going around craigslist to see what other places are giving away to get people to move in:

Ashley Court is giving away 2 weeks free and a $150 Visa gift card.
3609 SE 42nd is offering $200 off your first month rent.
3430 SE 58th will give you one month free.
Madrone Acacia will let you sign a month-to-month lease or give you half a month free.

All of these seem like pretty good deals I guess.
But take a gander at MY SPECIAL:

Here is our special, and it is a good one: Upon move-in, you will receive a partial CD discography of obscure 80s band The Chameleons UK, including--but not limited to--"Script of the Bridge" featuring the hit "Up The Down Escalator," which reached #18 on the German pop charts in 1983. One might say it was their seminal album.

I think I know why I haven't been getting much traffic these days.

Attack of the pet-friendly cyber concierge!

2009-12-22T05:53:00.000-08:00

Sweet christ, where to start with this craigslist ad?

#C104 comes with 5 weeks free rent and waived deposit, waived admin fee, waived application fee, and 3 months free parking!

I can see them waiving the admin fee, since that fee will be illegal in 9 days. And I can see waiving an application fee, because it's probably only $40 or so. But FIVE WEEKS rent? Waived deposit? It makes me nervous that they are willing to give up $1375 in rent and $1100 in (admittedly refundable) deposit just to get a warm body in there. And let's say parking is $100/mo. That's $2775 in concessions to fill one apartment. Crazy. Why not just make the rent affordable and fill up the entire building in a weekend? Then there's this, which is just poor grammar:

VIEWS OF DOWNTOWN PORTLAND, THE PEARL DISTRICT,CLOSE TO NORTH ALBERTA, BELMONT AND HAWTHORNE MAX TRIMET PET FRIENDLY CYBER CONCIERGE 24 HOUR FITNESS LEED GOLD CERTIFIED GREEN NON-SMOKING, Pearl District, Art, Boutiques, Wine, Night Life, Restaurants, Train, Portland Street Car, Apartments, Condominiums, Walk to Shopping, 24 Hour Fitness, Coffee, Galleries, Views, Water, Jogging, Running, Downtown, Tri-Met, Max-line, Pets Allowed, Large Dogs, Small Dogs, Indoor Cats, 24 Hour Concierge Service, Professional Sales Team, River Views, Storage

I don't usually mind the lack of commas in craigslist ads, but doesn't that "sentence" make it sound like there's a 24-hour pet friendly cyber concierge roaming the halls, luring Fido and Fluffy into random storage closets for who knows what unspeakable green-certified debauchery? He's like The Terminator but instead of killing Sarah Connor he's retrofitting kittens with bioswales. 503.493.1700

The Clifford

2009-12-16T07:33:00.000-08:00

View Larger Map
The Clifford has a studio for under $500! I'm so happy that that still exists. Here is their picture-free craigslist ad. I don't really trust anyone that has to resort to specials like the $99 first month rent, but maybe this apartment is awesome. Their number is 503.232.5460.

Creston Villa #12

2009-12-15T15:37:00.000-08:00

Weird apartment coming up:

It's the only 2-bedroom townhome I have at Creston Villa, and it should be ready around the 21st or 22nd of December. I personally prefer the flats to this townhome, but with this one at least you don't have any upstairs or downstairs neighbors. And I guess it's slightly bigger than the flats, but just barely. $795/mo includes water, sewer, garbage. Rent this apartment from me and you can have the rest of December for free. And, um, I don't know. How about a $50 New Seasons gift card? 503.771.4040

Oregon Senate Bill 771

2009-12-15T14:31:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a lengthy law seminar regarding all the changes to how I do things beginning January 1st, when Oregon Senate Bill 771 goes into effect. Most of it doesn't effect how we rent apartments, but there are a few important new laws that I thought the renting public should be aware of. Here's the short list:

Landlords can't charge any more pet fees. My current dog fee is $300 and my current cat fee is $100. Those are out. I may have to start charging "pet rent" which means that if you have a dog the apartment is $625/mo, and if you don't the apartment is $600/mo, for example.
Landlords can't charge move-in style fees. You know, like a $100 cleaning fee or a $200 "lock change" fee or anything like that. We only do that when times are really good (for us) anyway. I haven't done that since about June of '08.

Landlords can no longer charge you to transfer apartments within the same complex.
Upon moving out, landlords can now charge you for repairs they don't necessarily do. For example, if you scratch your hardwood floor just a tiny bit in the corner of the closet, the landlord can charge you for that--even without actually fixing it before the next tenant moves in.
Using that example, landlords can now charge you for the days it takes to fix that hardwood floor (as long as it's done in "a timely manner.")
The whole "non-compliance fee" thing has been restricted to only certain things. I've never charged a "non-compliance fee," so I'm not real clear on this. I guess in the past, landlords could charge you $25/day for having--using an example I heard today--a blue tarp on your patio. That's out.
If you've lived in your apartment for a year and your landlord wants you out, they can't give you a 30-day no-cause notice anymore. Now it's a 60-day. Unless you're a horrible resident or have gone through a condo conversion, you probably have never heard of a no-cause notice.
If you have a gas stove in your apartment, or if there's a boiler in your building, expect us to start knocking on your door to install CO detectors beginning 7/1/2010.
Yes, we can still charge you $250 for taking the battery out of your smoke detector. I've never heard of anyone actually charging that, but there it is.

Most of the other stuff seems like general common sense, or just doesn't apply to 99% percent of renters. I'm sure I'll get a bunch of clarification on this in the future. If anything interesting pops up I'll let you know.

Queen Marie #203

2009-12-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

I have a pretty sweet one-bedroom coming up next week, and it looks a lot like this:

After she moves out I'll have a video of the actual apartment, but the one in the above video is pretty similar. $800/mo includes water, sewer, garbage, and hot water. It's right across the street from the farmer's market, and it's just an all-around sweet pad. Please rent it so I can stop worrying about having a vacancy over the holiday. I will make you a mixtape.

Arby's Makes You Pregnant

2009-12-11T06:36:00.000-08:00

When I first read this review of my Creston Villa property on yelp dot com I was a little disappointed. The bumfights--sure--are seemingly a nightly occurrence, but they only happen at the Safeway bottle return area a block away. The reviewer says I'm awesome, which is nice. But she also implies that although she cleaned her apartment, I kept her deposit. If you look at her other reviews on yelp you can see that she's kinda funny in a 20-year-old girl sorta way: Arby's got her pregnant, the food at the swinger's club sucks, etc. Anyway, I looked up all the people that moved out between 6/14/09 (her first 7 reviews) and 7/28/09 (when she logged back in to yelp to review creston villa). I've narrowed it down to two people, and since I can't figure out how to respond to her on yelp I thought I'd just address the issue here.
If you break your lease, I have to charge you. It's stipulated on your rental agreement, and there's no way I can fudge the paperwork past the accounting department at the corporate office. If you do spray-painty art projects in your apartment, lay some newspaper down because spray paint doesn't come out of carpet. It just doesn't. If you adopt a cat, please make sure they're spayed or neutered so they don't spray on the walls and in the fridge. A fridge that smells like cat urine is so very, very unpleasant. And how did it spray in the fridge anyway? Were you keeping it in there at night? Weird. Finally, don't ever make me do a google image search for the phrase "pregnant arby's" again. At least not without changing the SafeSearch settings first. I can't unsee that.

Freedom Center 1

2009-12-09T07:07:00.000-08:00

Via bojack: 300 square foot apartments in the Pearl for $795. $2.65/sq ft is a lot of money. My 360 sq ft studios on Hawthorne would rent for $954 if that were the standard.
There are two kinds of people in this world.
Type 1:

For two women who work in the Pearl District - Kristin Collins, a Moule shopgirl, and Emma Wegener, a Caffe Umbria barista - the answer is ‘no way.’

And type 2:

Because her parents pay for her housing, [Becky Gilliam] said the proximity of Freedom Center 1 to school would outweigh the cost.

Godspeed, Freedom Center 1. Godspeed.

rental-data.com

2009-12-08T13:10:00.000-08:00

I think I've found either a scam or a poor business model. I was looking around on craigslist when I found what I thought at first was a two-bedroom house for $895. Turns out it's just a spammy post that wants you to go to this site and give them $35 to find you a rental. Why would I pay $35 to search some private company's database, when I can search craigslist for free? I'm thinking craigslist has a bigger selection by times a billion, so what gives? Am I missing something?

Sellwood House #8

2009-12-07T05:03:00.001-08:00

The Sellwood House has a studio coming up in a week or so. I think it's the last one we have to remodel, so everything in it is pretty brand-spanking new. I won't have a video of the apartment until it's done, so in the mean time here's another look at the outside of the building in 2007:

Your $700/mo rent includes pretty much everything: Water, sewer, garbage, hot water, heat, gas, electric, and cable. Give me a call if you'd like to see it before I put it up on Craigslist.
503.231.9169

Hawthorne Court

2009-12-07T04:54:00.001-08:00

I see Kathy has her sign out again, which is always rare at Hawthorne Court. This is one of the few dog-friendly buildings in the neighborhood. At least, I'm pretty sure dogs are allowed since I see people with dogs coming in and out of there all the time. I'm not sure how much her apartments are going for these days but if her one-bedrooms are less than $800 then I'd tell you it was a pretty good deal. 503.233.8865

Facebook

2009-12-07T04:45:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure how long I can actually stay interested in Facebook, but if you're a resident of the Lynnwood, Warnell, or Queen Marie Apartments (or even if you just want to be annoyed by more Facebook friends), you can friend me by looking up "Lynnwood Warnell Apts" on said social networking site. In the future I might set up another account for Creston Villa, and maybe one for the Sellwood House and Curry Court. I'm taking it slow.

2 things you don't see everyday

2009-12-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

This one-bedroom apartment for $725 at 1511 SE Morrison has a fireplace, which is weird. The other odd thing about this place is that you share a bathroom with two other apartments. The ad says that the bathroom is cleaned for you, which is nice, but I wonder how often it's cleaned. It seems that the going rate for one-bedrooms in the neighborhood is about $825, so this seems like a good price. Guess it all depends on how considerate your two neighbors are. I hate to go all George Costanza here, but how thick is the bathroom door?

2230 SE Yamhill

2009-12-05T15:56:00.000-08:00

The pictures for the listing of this one-bedroom apartment are totally giving me vertigo. It's a nice enough place, and I haven't heard anything bad about Palisades Property Management. But these pictures make me think that I'm in a Johnny Depp movie, and not one of the good ones like Crybaby. More like Pirates of the Caribbean 2.

Damn Montananites

2009-12-05T15:52:00.000-08:00

I thought I had rented this apartment, but people from Montana tend to be flaky sometimes. I blame that "River Runs Through It" movie. For some reason.

Please rent this apartment. I will be your BFF. It's only $600/mo!

The 20

2009-10-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

Live the 20! You can get a 2bd for about $1400 or so. They have a fancy garage that stacks your car somewhere like in the future. I was fixing a faucet yesterday, and my tenant's Mom or Aunt or someone like that lives there and has supposedly been very late to work a few times because of said futuristic garage. Also, I saw a youtube video (can't seem to find it right now) in which someone touts the garage as "sustainable." Does that word even mean anything anymore? It seems to me that unless it runs on solar power and grows fresh ripe plum tuhmaters, then "sustainable" is just a fake marketing term. So, other than the crazy garage, it looks like a really pretty place.

Curry Court Studios

2009-10-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

Here's the craigslist ad.
Here's the video:

I've been having trouble getting these rented lately. It's in a neighborhood where every other rental is either an ugly 2bd or half a house. But it's so close to OHSU, NCNM, and PSU. You'd think these would be easier. Not sure what I'm doing wrong.

Creston Villa #6

2009-10-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

Hey, I don't have a video for it yet, but it looks a lot like this one:

I'm even offering a $75 gift card to New Seasons if you move in before the 1st. If it were me, I'd spend it all on this. I gotta say, Creston Villa is getting more and more awesome. I would've avoided that place three years ago, but nowadays it's the bee's knees. Or many bees' knees. Call me and rent it! 503.771.4040

Sellwood House

2009-08-27T06:06:00.000-07:00

Oh, vFlyer. I'm not sure if I like you or not.

Photo Gallery

Description

This beautiful studio is located at the Sellwood House in the heart of the Brooklyn neighborhood. Originally a Catholic School, the 1906 Sellwood House is an award-winning eco-friendly remodel with bamboo floors and many other green features. Please call 503-349-8679 to schedule a viewing. Price includes all utilities.

Features

Bedrooms:	0
Bathrooms:	1
Located on Floor #:	1
Floors in Bldg:	2
Square Footage:	360
Parking Spaces:	1
Pets Allowed:	Cats
Year Built:	1906

vFlyer Id: 2461590

Yamhill Apartments

2009-08-26T12:51:00.000-07:00

I love it when an apartment building has its very own website. They have a one-bedroom for just $675 right now, but be sure to take your shoes off after stumbling home from the Speakeasy. You know, because it's carpeted.

Bagdad Basement?

2009-08-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

What? You can rent the basement of the Bagdad? How weird would that be?
Such a weird craigslist ad. No contact info, but they invite you to text them?
Out of curiosity, I called one of the managers of the Bagdad. She told me there is no apartment in the basement of the Theater. So your guess is as good as mine.

Curry Court #6

2009-08-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

Here's a studio we just finished up:

$665/mo on a 9-month lease includes water, sewer, and garbage. Lair Hill is kind of a weird neighborhood but it's about 18 blocks or so from PSU. Life will be a lot cooler there if this ever gets past the planning stages.
503/349.8679

Dangerous Phrases

2009-08-25T10:24:00.001-07:00

I've been searching craigslist to see if this is still for rent, but can't seem to find it. But I did find this ad which made me nervous:

Spacious 1898 Victorian now available for rent! This is a perfect home for a professional couple. It has 2 bedrooms (the downstairs bedroom could be used as office, the upstairs bedroom has sitting area in front), remodeled bath, hardwood floors, high ceilings, elegant molding in the living room and dining room. Excellent location, quiet neighborhood, and you can walk to the New Seasons Food Market, and Hawthorne stores. (bold is my doing)

That's so close to saying that this isn't a perfect home for a family, or a single person, or whatever else you can think of. I'd probably be fired immediately if I put that phrase in one of my ads. Or maybe I'm just being too picky because of that fair housing class I had to attend last month.
Anyway, it's a nice house if you can afford $1650 for a two-bedroom.

Sellwood House #4

2009-08-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm still sitting on this one. $695/mo includes all utilities: Water, sewer, garbage, hot water, heat, gas, electricity, and cable. I originally had it for $750 but that did NOT work at all. Oh, also there's no monthly cat rent here. Please rent it? 503/349.8679

2102 SE 12th Ave.

2009-08-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

I never see apartments come up at the good ol' Virginia Lee, mostly because it's only a 12-plex. I've always really liked the front of the building, as it reminds me of the Enchanted Forest. $795/mo is pretty standard for a vintage one-bedroom in the neighborhood, but I'd be a little worried about paying for your own gas heat. I think the windows are the original wooden ones, so you could see a $100 NW Natural bill come winter. I could be wrong about that. Also, it's interesting how they work their cat policy. You have both a $150 one-time fee, and a $15/mo fee.
Pet rent is a relatively new concept to me. I personally think that it kind of encourages people with pets to move out sooner, whereas a one-time fee would encourage tenants to stay longer. For example, let's say you move into a place that has a $200 pet fee and you stay there for 20 months. You've basically paid $10/mo to have your pet. Compare that to, for example, a $20/mo pet fee and no one-time fee due upon move-in. That would be incentive for me to find a new place.
Of course, the Virginia Lee has both kinds of pet fees, so I'm not sure where the logic in that is. Maybe I just dislike cats.

UPDATE: Please see the comments about the heating bill! Also, see the comments about how I was totally wrong about the cat fee. It's OR not AND. I didn't read the ad carefully...
503/757.5201

804 SE 39th

2009-08-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

This one-bedroom apartment is only $610/mo! What's the catch?
Basement level?
Facing 39th?
Ugly carpet?
No, it's one of those income-restricted places that make you prove you make between $14,640 and $29,400 annually. Which, with our current economic situation, probably includes about 90% of Portland.

Creston Villa #30

2009-08-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

Although this video is of #5, it looks exactly like #30. I'll have a video of #30 after I get it finished--which might be a little while. The girls that just moved out were YOUNG, 19 and 21. They were also artists. Or at least I'm assuming they were artists based on the amount of stray spray paint all over the walls, doors, deck, ceiling, etc.
Young girls and property management--like young girls and everything else--are kind of a mixed blessing. It's nice having them bake you cookies and pretend-flirt with you, but sooner or later they're going to move out and you'll have to scrape their glow-in-the-dark stars off the ceiling.
$785/mo on a 9-mo lease includes water, sewer, garbage.

3436 SW 1st

2009-04-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

Walking around the neighborhood of Curry Court yesterday when I saw this interesting place. Built in 1885, it's a one-bedroom in a triplex with 650 sq ft for only $695. Seems like a pretty good deal to me. No pets or smoking, of course. 971.237.2289

Creston Villa #41

2009-03-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

I also have an apartment for rent, shown here:

$775/mo includes water, sewer, parking, and garbage.
Pet friendly, quiet building next to the Safeway.
The address is 3640 SE 40th, and my phone # is 771.4040
Here's the CL ad.

Unicorn Burial Ground

2009-03-08T08:04:00.000-07:00

As usual, I am late to jump on the latest Portland meme: In this case, our response to that article about how Portland is the nation's most depressing city (I'm not going to bother to link to it) is to counter with the fact that Portland was built over an ancient unicorn burial ground. Explains a lot.

Ashley Court Apartments

2009-03-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

I see that other apartment managers are finally utilizing youtube. It's worked exceedingly well for me over the last 2 years or so, but now that the economy stinks and my job is getting harder (at least I have a job?) I'm not sure I like the competition.

Check out Ashley Court:

The classical music probably doesn't come with the apartment, but the color scheme is kind of a refreshing break from the Polar White standard in this town. 503-232-8200.

Stuff I have coming up

2009-02-13T08:32:00.000-08:00

Creston Villa #41 should be ready 3/10 or so for $775:

Creston Villa #30 should be ready on 3/8, and it looks a lot like 41 but with a better kitchen for $775.
Creston Villa #19 is a funky ground floor apartment that I don't have a video of, but it's only $720 and should be ready around 3/10.
Queen Marie #207 is $830 and it will be ready around 4/10:

At the Warnell, I have a one-bedroom coming up around 3/15 for a cool $700. It's not my favorite because it's on the ground floor, but it has hardwood floors and is pretty big. Sorry no video.
Available now, I have this, and this.

I'm giving out New Seasons Gift Cards for referrals these days. If you know someone that needs an apartment and they rent from me, I'll kick you back a $25 or $50 card depending on which property.

Live like Jerry Seinfeld?

2009-02-13T08:16:00.000-08:00

Wait. What?
You ever notice how when the economy's down apartment ads start getting weird? What's the deal with that? And airline food...

5625 se gladstone

2009-02-13T08:09:00.000-08:00

View Larger MapThis sounds interesting: Hardwood floors, energy trust package, tiled bath. Not the best neighborhood in the world but not horrible either. Bad news for people like me that have apartments coming up next month, but good news for you. Sounds like they have 15 pretty nice apartments coming up soon.

Frozen blue penis as social commentary?

2009-02-13T08:01:00.003-08:00

Okay, this post is a little blue, I know (!). But check out what awaited me when I pulled up to Creston Villa today. Yes, it's a gigantic frozen blue penis. The cell phone pic doesn't do it justice, but it's actually a very artistic frozen penis and whoever made it really put some work into it. Perhaps someone thinks I'm a dick. Of maybe, as Freud said, sometimes a frozen blue penis is just a frozen blue penis.

How to peak my interest and then immediately kill it.

2009-02-12T20:25:00.000-08:00

Mention Jackie O in the title of your craigslist ad so I'll click on it, and then mention Austin Powers in the first sentence so I click the back button.

And what's with the pictures of the full trash cans?
UPDATE: These guys are starting to grow on me.

2121 Belmont LOWERS their prices

2009-02-12T20:20:00.000-08:00

The proof is in the pudding.

That 707 sq ft 1-bedroom that faces a concrete wall has gone down from $1275/mo to $1230/mo. That's a savings of over 3.5%!!!one!

In all fairness, I haven't actually been inside. Maybe it's totally worth it.

Palisades Properties

2009-02-06T08:24:00.001-08:00

Anyone know about these guy s? First time I'd heard of them was today. I'm totally going to get on their "Vacancy Hotlist." Looks like they have quite a few neat things around town.

Sellwood House #2

2009-02-05T15:17:00.000-08:00

I'm renting this eco-friendly studio is on the first floor facing south. $775 includes ALMOST everything: Water, sewer, garbage, hot water, heat, gas, electric, and cable.
It's in a quiet neighborhood and includes storage, bike room, off-street parking, laundry room. It's on 3 bus lines: 70, 19, and 17.
503.349.8679

1905 se morrison

2009-02-05T15:14:00.001-08:00

This place keeps popping up on craigslist. Either no one wants a $550 studio anymore or this place is impossible to rent. Judging by the pictures in the ad, I'd guess the latter is true. Is that a stove in the living room?

Gone Fishin'

2009-02-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

If things seem slow around here lately it's because of two things:
Number one, the market is SUPER slow right now so I'm actually starting to have to do some actual work.
Secondly, I'm taking a lot of time off this year in celebration of Oregon's Sesquicentennial.
http://150or.blogspot.com/

Won't you please move to SW?

2009-02-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

I'm having trouble renting these two places:

Only $650!

Only $675!

Stuff I have coming up...

2008-11-20T17:44:00.000-08:00

Studio on Hawthorne w/ hardwoods
Crappy studio on Hawthorne that I hate
Killer studio in Brooklyn that I would totally live in if I were single

2728 SE Main

2008-11-17T22:44:00.001-08:00

For $965 per month, I would expect horizontality, if that's a word. Still there's a lot to love about this listing. The vacation photos on the fridge should give you a clue.

Brittany Forest

2008-11-17T22:17:00.000-08:00

I have good news, and I have bad news.
The good news is that Brittany Forest is the best looking building in the 39th and Powell area.
The bad news is that they want $100 more than anyone else in the neighborhood.
The other bad news is that "Original Taco House" is neither Original, Taco, or House.
Reliance Property Management
Google Pic
Original Taco House

Lanning Court

2008-11-17T22:01:00.000-08:00

Capitol Property Management has an ad for Lanning Court again. Kinda weird how things have changed since June of 2007. Back then, you could get a one-bedroom for $595, but now that's the price for a studio. Still a nice place, in my opinion.

Win Stuff.

2008-11-17T21:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, here's the email I got from my boss today:

Happy Monday!!
It seems like traffic has really slowed down so how about this idea to try and get a few more people through the door??? Let’s offer a free gift for touring the property…how about something in your Craigslist ad like:
“Have A Latte On Us” and get some $5.00 gift cards from Starbucks
“We’ll Treat You Like A King!” and get $5.00 gift cards to Burger King…hey, I just thought of this, that’s pretty good!!
And now the challenge…email me your ideas, and judges in the corporate office will select the winner. You won’t want to miss out on the grand prize for the best idea!! I’m sure that you can all come up with at least one really great idea. Please have these to my by Wednesday, 11/19 at noon. I can’t wait to see what you come up with!!
Have a great week!

If you win this prize for me, we can split it. Best thing I can come up with so far is too close to that OB tampon commercial from the 90s to be appropriate. Really wish I had a link for that.

Minimalist Craigslist Ad

2008-11-17T21:33:00.000-08:00

It's like the Agnes Martin of craigslist.

Creston Villa #41

2008-11-04T02:28:00.000-08:00

Please tell me what I'm doing wrong. Why won't anyone rent this apartment from me? Two months ago I could have had half a dozen people lining up to pay $825 for it. Is it just the slow season, or is the apartment market finally catching up to the housing market? Here's a video. Maybe that will help.

Four words you never want to hear:

2008-11-04T02:15:00.000-08:00

"Updated in the sixties." With the exception of the included picture, the apartment looks pretty nice. It's basically 30th and Belmont, which means you'll be having lots of breakfasts at the Cricket Cafe. And that means that sooner or later you'll realize why a certain menu item is called "Belmont Browns." The building itself doesn't look too bad either.
And $650 isn't really out of the question for a studio these days. Looks like they have new windows so even though the baseboard heaters look like they were also "updated in the sixties" perhaps your electric bill won't be too bad. I guess that if it were me, I'd check to see if your electric bill is tied into hot water. Turns out that water heaters are the most sucky appliance ever when it comes to studio apartments.
It's managed by Wampler Enterprises, which is a fun thing to say. Wampler. Wampler? I hardly know her!

More like the heart of awesome

2008-10-31T17:38:00.000-07:00

And only $775. I can't tell which building this is based on the pic. I think it's the one over Local 35 because of that direct-to-outdoor entry. Pretty sweet spot wherever it is.

More Zomerzet!

2008-10-29T18:56:00.001-07:00

Please someone rent this apartment. They've been working on it for four years and I'm starting to feel bad for them. Not sure what's going on with their selection of kitchen flooring in the picture there but I'm sure their hearts are in the right place. Honestly, it's a much better deal than this.
Seriously though, I'm color blind and all but that kitchen floor looks like my aunt Peggy's house in Gresham. I think that's even the same faucet.

Zomerzet?

2008-10-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

In the autumn of 2000, just months after I started this job, I was up in apartment 205 of the Warnell Apartments cleaning up after a tenant that had just moved out. It was about 10pm, but I was sober and poor so I needed the $55 to pay for ramen and bus tickets. I was scraping candle wax off the hardwood floors when I heard a weird thumping sound out the window. The picture you see to the left is what is now the Zomerzet. Back in the autumn of 2000 it was a home for underage girls that had been shunned by their families. And on this particular night the thumping I heard was caused by a topless sixteen-year-old girl attempting to escape from the second story window with a series of tied-together sheets. And she was having a lot of trouble escaping. Also I have no idea why she was topless. If it were me, I would have at least put a bra on, but then again I'm not a troubled sixteen-year-old girl so what do I know? She got about three feet down when the knot on her sheets gave way and she tumbled into the arbor vitae below. Unphased, she limped off into the crisp cloudless and evening. Two days later I saw the same girl WITH a top (and a cast on her right leg) edging the lawn on the eastern edge of the property. I'll never know if landscaping is an appropriate punishment for topless jailbreaking, but I will always remember that night as the first and last time I saw underage boobs on the lam. Unless you count that one time in college.
Call the Zomerzet (seriously? that's what you're calling it?) at 503.238.8551. But tell them to fix the dryrot in their gutters first. It's annoying the crap out of me.

Cedarhurst Village Apartments

2008-10-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

First off, let me just say that anyone that shells out $120 on one of those "Now Renting" banners from WelcomeHomeAmerica dot com or whatever is just silly. Do people actually pay any attention to those things? To me they just scream desperation, but maybe I'm just being too cynical.
Cedarhurst Village is renting a one-bedroom for $750. I get a dozen calls a day for one-bedrooms so I thought I'd post this. I should also mention that I stole this pic from InfoUSA, apparently.
At a recent portfolio meeting I heard that one-bedrooms were getting hard to rent out because the economy is forcing everyone to "double-up" and move into two-bedrooms. That's probably true east of about 72nd or south of Powell but I haven't seen that here in 97214.
Anyway, my favorite part of this craigslist ad is as follows:

Please send an email and I will get back to you to set up an appointment. If you do not hear from me right away we way may be experiencing a high volume of response. Thank you!!!

That's just awesome on so many levels. I'm going to have to start using that one.

Villa Jené

2008-10-29T17:56:00.000-07:00

So pretty. $735/mo studio, but probably not fun if it faces Burnside. Might be worth it though if you're close to one of those poor-man's balconies i.e. the fire escape. Nothing like coffee and a cigarette first thing in the morning looking down on that dude that passed out after leaving the Matador.
BONUS: Bristol Equities also has this place available. But the front of it looks like a mean jowly President Taft.

$355/mo on Hawthorne!

2008-10-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Do you want to call Rogers Rentals and ask them what $355/mo will get you at 1831 SE Hawthorne, or shall I?
(waiting...)
Ok, you win. I'll call.
(ringing...)
I chickened out and didn't ask her what was $355/mo. But she is full and has no 30-day notices. Bummer. Kudos for answering the phone at 5:51pm on a Wednesday though.
Let me know if you figure this one out.

Where your rent money goes.

2008-10-29T17:36:00.000-07:00

Exhibit A: This.
The above link is a craigslist ad for my favorite building evar, 2121 Belmont. Take a look at that fanciness. Wonder what it pays to be the guy or gal in charge of professionally setting up model units so they look good in pictures (maybe that sculpture/clock thingie in pic #4 was found a thrift shop, so perhaps I'm being harsh). Or how much they pay their tech guy to update that website all the time. Or how much it costs to put ads in For Rent magazine (I'm not linking to that because Avira says it's full of viruses for some reason).
My advertising budget is $200 PER YEAR. I haven't spent any of it since 2004.
Maybe I'm just jealous. Or maybe I'm stupid for thinking anyone that can afford $2700+ per month in rent cares about where their rent money goes.

Melcliff Apartments

2008-10-29T17:29:00.000-07:00

The Melcliff Apartments at 711 SE 11th has a studio or five available. I've been wondering for a long time why they always seem to have something available in this market. Especially since they have studios for under $600. Turns out it might just be because it's a courtyard-style building and a good chunk of the apartments look right into someone else's studio. Give them a call at 503.813.9200 and see for yourself if you don't believe me. In related news, if you google "ipm melcliff" then I come up before IPM's website. Coincidence?

Stuff I have coming up soon:

2008-10-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Creston Villa #41:
Available 11/1ish: 800 sq ft 2bd facing east and a west-facing balcony. $825/mo. Here's a video of the place:

Creston Villa #27:
Available 11/5ish: Basically the same as #41 above but the windows face north and the balcony faces south.
Sellwood House #7:
Available 10/26ish: 360 sq ft studio facing south on the top floor. Award-winning green remodel of a 1900s convent for $750/mo. Rent includes water, sewer, garbage, hot water, heat, gas, electricity, cable. It looks almost exactly like this one:

Queen Marie #204:
Available 11/10ish: 460 sq ft studio facing east on the second floor. Beautiful 1920s building right across the street from the Eastbank Farmer's Market. $700/mo includes water, sewer, garbage, hot water. Looks almost exactly like this one:

Lynnwood #210:
Available 11/10ish: 340 sq ft studio on the top floor facing west with a sweet view of downtown. $640/mo includes water, sewer, garbage, hot water, heat. It kinda looks like this one:

As always, give me a call at 503.231.9169 if you'd like to check these out.

1628 SE 32nd

2008-08-15T17:25:00.000-07:00

Pretty. You could eat at The Italian Joint every night. $850/mo all of a sudden seems incredibly reasonable compared to this other place.

Yeah.

2008-08-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

That condo project that turned into apartments at 2121 SE Belmont? They're finally leasing. One-bedroom apartments are $1275-$2430. Two bedrooms are $2550-$3125. That's not a typo. Those prices are even higher than I predicted when I first heard they were turning into apartments. Sweet Georgia Brown. Who can afford that? On Belmont? We need to all move to St. Johns. Who's with me? No? How about Astoria?
Anyway, you can reach them at 503.299.2121. If you know anyone that actually lives there, please steal $1900 from their purse and send it to me.

Curry Court #6...

2008-08-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

...is ready finally. Here's a video of the actual apartment:

I'm heading over there in a minute to show it. It's $695/mo and my # is 503.231.9169.