Crown Point Apartments

The only reason I'm posting this is because I think that's an awesome picture. I'm not sure what the landlord here is trying to convey by putting this in his or her ad, but I'm pretty sure their motive was simply, "Whoa. It totally snowed." Kudos to them for not shoveling and instead, well, marketing. Crown Point is at 2925 SE 50th and they have a one-bedroom for $695. 503.234.7632.

Wimbledon Square

Oh, Wimbledon. You'll never be able to shake this.

The Money Shot Is At 1:33

Rule #1: Keep yourself out of the video.
Ashley Court has a 2bd for $775. Specials, storage, parking, etc.
503.232.8200

Hudson Court Apartments

This post is monumental in two ways. Way the first: They are giving away flat-screen TVs upon moving in. That's just nutty. Way the second: This is the first sponsored post I've done. Someone told me that if you accept gifts or payment for a blog post you legally had to report it, so there ya go: I'm writing this in exchange for a 22oz bottle of Ninkasi. Okay, let's see here, what's going on at Hudson Court? It's at 4129 SE 39th, that's nice. There's a two-bedroom for $750 (about $25-$50 under market) that looks like it has new carpet and lino. Oh, and a FREE FLAT SCREEN. Whatever. It's probably a Sorny. Do give Jessica a call at 503.774.3611 and check out her apartment. Tell her that the $4.59 she spent on that beer for me was well-spent. Let us all now celebrate my new paying gig as a blogger by drinking beer. Specifically, Tricerahops Double IPA.

Kailash Ecovillage

Oh man, why didn't I think of this? Oh yeah. I can barely keep a blog going, so having the patience to turn the old Cabana Apartments into neo-hippie paradise would probably make me want to get pregnant at Arby's. Anyway, I hope this works. Good luck to them. They have an apartment or two open, but I'd like to see some bamboo floors in there--more expensive, sure, but they last 10 times longer than carpet. Not to mention the off-gassing properties of petroleum based materials in carpet.

Creston Villa #12, and a little incentive comparison

I have an apartment coming available in a couple days. It's a two-bedroom townhome for $775:

So yeah, there it is. Not a bad little place. It's always been difficult to rent apartments around xmas, but it's especially hard this year because of the crappy economy. So this morning I'm going around craigslist to see what other places are giving away to get people to move in:

• Ashley Court is giving away 2 weeks free and a $150 Visa gift card.
• 3609 SE 42nd is offering $200 off your first month rent.
• 3430 SE 58th will give you one month free.
• Madrone Acacia will let you sign a month-to-month lease or give you half a month free.

All of these seem like pretty good deals I guess.
But take a gander at MY SPECIAL:

Here is our special, and it is a good one: Upon move-in, you will receive a partial CD discography of obscure 80s band The Chameleons UK, including--but not limited to--"Script of the Bridge" featuring the hit "Up The Down Escalator," which reached #18 on the German pop charts in 1983. One might say it was their seminal album.

I think I know why I haven't been getting much traffic these days.

Attack of the pet-friendly cyber concierge!

Sweet christ, where to start with this craigslist ad?

#C104 comes with 5 weeks free rent and waived deposit, waived admin fee, waived application fee, and 3 months free parking!

I can see them waiving the admin fee, since that fee will be illegal in 9 days. And I can see waiving an application fee, because it's probably only $40 or so. But FIVE WEEKS rent? Waived deposit? It makes me nervous that they are willing to give up $1375 in rent and $1100 in (admittedly refundable) deposit just to get a warm body in there. And let's say parking is $100/mo. That's $2775 in concessions to fill one apartment. Crazy. Why not just make the rent affordable and fill up the entire building in a weekend? Then there's this, which is just poor grammar:

VIEWS OF DOWNTOWN PORTLAND, THE PEARL DISTRICT,CLOSE TO NORTH ALBERTA, BELMONT AND HAWTHORNE MAX TRIMET PET FRIENDLY CYBER CONCIERGE 24 HOUR FITNESS LEED GOLD CERTIFIED GREEN NON-SMOKING, Pearl District, Art, Boutiques, Wine, Night Life, Restaurants, Train, Portland Street Car, Apartments, Condominiums, Walk to Shopping, 24 Hour Fitness, Coffee, Galleries, Views, Water, Jogging, Running, Downtown, Tri-Met, Max-line, Pets Allowed, Large Dogs, Small Dogs, Indoor Cats, 24 Hour Concierge Service, Professional Sales Team, River Views, Storage

I don't usually mind the lack of commas in craigslist ads, but doesn't that "sentence" make it sound like there's a 24-hour pet friendly cyber concierge roaming the halls, luring Fido and Fluffy into random storage closets for who knows what unspeakable green-certified debauchery? He's like The Terminator but instead of killing Sarah Connor he's retrofitting kittens with bioswales. 503.493.1700